"Oh, really?

Your parents came home, huh?"

"They smelled like energy drinks, and their eyes were all bloodshot.

They said they had a crazy amount of stuff to do, and were up two whole nights in a row.

Adults have it tough."

"Your dad is an artist, right?

They really do have it rough."

"Come to think of it, he was, wasn't he?

I would very much like to see what kind of things he draws sometime!"

...An artist, huh.

I'd seen a number of watercolor and acrylic paintings on display, but he had to have been doing some other job too.

...Just what did Dad do, exactly?

...He didn't let anyone into his workshop, after all.

I wanted to sneak a peek one day.

"So the house was empty for two days after all that?

Hu-hu-hu, that didn't leave much time!

So?

Kei-chan, did you manage to go after the character who was in your heart?!

The absence of parents is a must-have for eroge protagonists!"

"...He built up a lot of relationship points and raised all the right flags."

I have no idea what any of you are talking about...

"That means you don't need to cook for yourself anymore, Keiichi-kun.

What did you make last night? Last night?"

Hm... hmm.

...In the end, I...

I didn't make a single thing myself.

"Last night's dinner, well... it was vegetable stir-fry."

"Wow!

Kei-chan, you can make a little bit of real cooking now, huh?"

"Hmm☆.

You made vegetable stir-fry?

Did it come out good? Did it?!"

"...Rena-san, you're being unpleasant.

Why are you clinging to me...?"

"...A delicious meal, and friendly dish-washing together."

"H-Hau~~~~☆. How nice, how nice!!"

"Hey!

I said, you're being unpleasant~!!"

"...Huh? What are you talking about??"

Mion, utterly confused, asked me for clarification, but I just barely, albeit transparently, averted my eyes.

"Right, right!

Does anyone have plans for this afternoon?

You don't, do you? Do you!?"

Today was Saturday.

The beautiful day on which we're liberated from the confines of school in the afternoon.

Actually, the school in Hinamizawa had slightly different Saturdays than those in the city.

There were a lot of students here who brought a bento, ate it at lunch, and then went to play in the school or around the schoolyard.

You could say that the entire school turned into a children's playground...

There were mountains behind the school, and if you went down that way, you'd find mountain streams.

You could avoid the strong sunlight and make conversation in the classroom if you wanted, too.

You could also play hide-and-seek in the construction pipes.

Of course, you were free to go home as well.

There were some kids who went home and helped water the fields, or tended to stores.

If Mion was bringing up the afternoon like this...

Then it must have been for some crazy big club event!

...However.

Sadly, I had something I needed to do before taking part in whatever it was.

"...You have work?

That's unlucky."

"I wonder what kind of work it is.

Maybe helping his father with his artwork job."

"Hmm.

...Or being a model for his father's art?

...A model?

A nude one?

Hau~~~♪."

...I looked into Rena's eyes... and saw myself completely naked in a questionable pose with a single rose in my mouth?!

"No, no!

I wouldn't do that for a million yen!"

To get rid of Rena's delusions, I grabbed her head and swung it from side to side.

"Hau~~~~!!

Stoooooopppppp!!"

"...Er, sorry.

Leaving your fanciful delusions aside,

I have something to do real quick during lunch.

I'm OK to meet up with you after I'm done though."

"Work during lunch?

I see!

That sounds kind of cool, actually.

What could it be?

Are you having a banquet with VIP experts?

Like a business lunch?!"

"...Urgh.

......This is truly sad... but you're right."

"""Whaaaat?!"""

Everyone shouts wildly, surprised...

It was true.

Today I'd be on the job with my family.

For my dad's job, he was having about ten people from the publishing agency over for a house party.

He called people from work for a party the day after having stayed up two nights in a row—I'm amazed at their vitality.

...Adults have it pretty rough.

Of course, it would be incredibly uncomfortable for me.

It would be really tiring to have to force myself to smile at some old dudes I didn't know.

But... they were my dad's important business connections, so offending them would be bad...

Well, with all that said, it was going to get very uncomfortable for me today, starting at lunch.

"Well, well!

What an intelligent child...!"

"This is my son, Keiichi.

Keiichi, this is Honda-san, he's a publisher.

And this person here is Inoue-san, who works as a printer.

Say your hellos."

"H-Hello.

My name is Keiichi.

I appreciate all you've done for my father..."

"Keiichi-kun, do you draw pictures like your father does?

I would very much like to see them!"

My dad had such a brazen occupation—that of an artist.

Although... I don't really know what kinds of things he creates.

I don't really care, and don't want to see anyway.

Dad's so tightfisted about it, so he doesn't show them to me very often anyway.

I'm not a kid anymore, so I wouldn't care at all if they were pictures of naked ladies or anything.

"If you study under your father as an apprentice, you'd be able to become a great artist like him, too."

"...Excuse me...

This is just between you and me, but...

My dad... Is he really that great of an artist?"

I readied myself... and whispered my question.

It might have seemed odd for his son to be asking this, but...

When I did...

He

gave

me

this

really

strange

grin

and tightly clamped down onto my shoulders.

"Yes!!

He is truly... truly a fantastic artist!!"

"I-Is that so...?

I'm glad to hear it..."

"There are no purchase restrictions,

he does fanservice,

and he always answers the letters he gets!

He has an inquisitive mind, always on the prowl for what the world needs!!

Taking off your socks? Absolutely not!

And that goes for glasses and school uniforms too!

Maebara-sensei understands these things perfectly!!

Every event sees him along the wall, with a huge lineup..."

"U-Uh, I'm sorry, but...

His pictures... they're not ones you hang on the wall...??"

"Not at all!

In the beginning, everyone starts in the islands!

And then to their corners,

and finally climbing up to the corners of the larger paths!

The final destination is the famous wall!!

You too!

Please, become a great artist who can display his works in unison with Maebara-sensei!!

I'll cheer you on!!!"

I-It's fine to have a lot of passion for the things you like, but...

I didn't get it... but it seemed that the world of art ran pretty deep...

It was probably a much deeper world than I could have imagined.

...I decided to leave it at that.

Then, I realized my mom was calling me from the other side of the room.

"Keiichi!

It's the phone.

It's a friend of yours."

A lucky break!

Maybe I could get out of this uncomfortable business party by using a friend's phone call as an excuse.

I scampered over to the front door and snatched up the receiver my mom had left there.

"Hello!

It's me~!"

"Hello, me!

That's not how you answer the phone, Keiichi-san.

I implore you, learn how to choose your words more properly!"

...I was of the opinion that the person speaking to me had a far stranger way of talking.

"Oh, it's Satoko!

It's unusual for you to call my house."

"This isn't the time for pleasantries!

Keiichi-san, when are you going to be able to come?!"

"S-Sorry...

It looks like this is going a bit long...

I can't get them to let me go...

I want to go do things with the club now, but..."

"That's not it, Keiichi-san!

It wasn't about the club today.

It's a real battle!!"

Satoko's voice was different from normal.

...I could feel the urgency in it drifting through the phone!

"A-A real battle?!

That doesn't sound good!

What's the situation?!"

"I will explain the particulars when we meet!

Anyway... this is a terrible crisis!!

At this rate we're going to lose!!"

What on earth was going on?!

Could it have been... a fight?!

I didn't know who they were, but laying a hand on someone from Hinamizawa was an absolutely terrible idea!

"Right!

Got it!!

I'll come and reinforce you right away!!

Where are you at?!"

"We're on the Okinomiya elementary school campus!

There are signs at the station, so you should be able to figure it out!!

Anyway, we're in a huge hurry!!"

The school campus..!

The situation could have a lot of people involved...

Could it have turned into an all-out brawl?!

Who was the enemy here, anyway?!

Ooohhhhh!! I'm on fire!!

"Got it!

I'll be there soon!!

Should I bring a weapon with me?!

Like a metal baseball bat or something?!"

"You have a metal bat?!

That would be fantastic!!

We will wait for you here!!"

The call cut off abruptly.

I needed to hurry!!

"Oh, Keiichi.

I was looking for you.

Deguchi-san here was hoping that for his next dojinshi—"

"Now's not the time!

Don't we have a bat?!

A metal bat?!

If not... then anything long will do!!"

"...I-If anything long will do... then my golf clubs are in the storage room."

It didn't have the same kind of impact... but a golf club was a splendid weapon too!

It was lighter than a baseball bat, and maybe easier for me to use!

"Thanks!

I'm borrowing one!!

I really need to go see my friends for something—it's urgent!!

Sorry!!"

"Wha— Keiichi!?

Wait a minute...!!"

I grabbed a golf club, jumped on my bike, and headed straight for town...!

Wait for me, Satoko!

I'll be right there!!

Just hold out until then!!

I didn't actually know where Okinomiya Elementary was exactly.

But Satoko's phone call seemed to demand urgency, so I rushed out without asking her about how to get there...

...But if I went to the station, there would be signs... At least, I feel like that's what she said...

Then I heard the jingling of a bicycle bell from behind me.

"...Hello there."

"Hey!

Rika-chan!!

...Hah! Hah!"

"...Keiichi, you came quickly.

You put the pedal to the metal."

Damn!

This isn't the time to be out of breath!

I need to hurry!!

"S-Sorry!!

Where is Okinomiya Elementary?!"

"...I'll show you the way.

Come along with me."

Rika-chan rode off on her bike.

I followed her.

"Satoko suddenly called me out here... But what on earth is going on, anyway?!"

"...At first, we had the advantage.

...However... they called in a helper.

It's bad manners."

A helper?!

What cowards—calling for reinforcements the minute they realize they'd lose!!

"...They're taking everyone out one by one.

...We can't put a dent in them."

...Gulp.

...Sounds like they were pretty strong...

"Anyway, I'll ask about it later!

We don't have time, right?!

Please hurry!"

"...Leave it to me."

With Rika-chan leading the way, we headed straight for the elementary school grounds!

I asked Rika-chan something during that time...

It seemed that all of the club members besides me were part of this fight.

...Damn, so what Mion was trying to tell everyone... was that this would happen?!

If I had known that, I would have just ditched my family job!!

...But it was too late for regrets.

According to Rika-chan, we had a one-sided advantage at the start, but our angry foes had brought in a powerful ally.

...The club members put up a resistance and went against them one by one... but apparently they couldn't stand up to them!!

"The combined efforts of the whole club couldn't win?!

Just... just what kind of monster is this guy?!"

"...He's amazing.

This enemy is orthodox."

...Orthodox...

So they weren't using thuggish brawling tactics, but had actually studied karate or something—is that what she meant...?!

"...Keiichi is our last ray of hope now."

Okinomiya Elementary came into view.

...I could hear many voices raising hell over there!!

"Woohhhhhh!!

Mion!

Rena!

Satokooo!!

I'll be there sooooon!!

I'll crush them all at once!!"

There were a lot of bicycles left out in front of the school.

I left mine there next to them in the same way.

I could tell there were a lot of people flooding the campus.

...Were the two armies in the midst of a huge, no-holds-barred brawl?!

I took my golf club in hand.

Woosh! I swung it.

I felt the sensation of it sticking firmly to my palm.

Great!!

The feedback wasn't bad!

I'm gonna go all-out with this thing!!

I dashed at a breakneck speed to the school gates, swinging it around...!!!

"Come with me, Rika-chan!!

I will show you what the mighty, manly warrior, Keiichi Maebara, can really do!!!"

"...Wow.

Keiichi, you're so reliable.

You're going to rampage with a golf club."

Rika-chan applauded me, though a little dryly, lauding my valiance!

The manly Keiichi Maebara put it behind him and headed for the place where he may die!!

"...But Keiichi.

...Why did you bring a golf club today?"

"I had no choice!

At first I figured a baseball bat would have been good, but we don't have one at my house.

A golf club was far better than going bare-handed, so I brought one!!"

"...How very excellent.

I will give you a pat on the head.

I can't wait to see your golf club rampage."

Despite the emergency situation, Rika-chan reached up and stroked me on the head.

"H-Hey!

This is no time for jokes!!

............Huh?"

Crrrrrrraaaaaackkkkk!!

Just then, an extremely loud metallic sound rang out, and I heard many people cheering.

"Left!

Ahhhh...! We missed!"

"Ruuunnn!!

You can get to second base—go!!"

"Center!!

Calm down!!

Send it to third!!"

The center fielder caught the ball, and after a brief pause, sent it flying to third base.

If he had pitched it wildly, it might get there.

He gave up on second and threw it to third with time to spare...

The instructions from the bench—they were solid...!

.........Wait... what?

"Oh, Keiichi-kun's here!

Satoko-chan, Satoko-chan, Keiichi-kun's here!!"

"You're late, late, late!!

Loafing around is only okay when you do it at the bread shop!!"

"This Maebara-kun kid... Will he really be able to save us...?

We're up against that elite school's ace—left-arm Kameda-kun!

To be able to beat a Koshien-class pitcher... He must be a god...!"

"It's okay.

I'm sure... that Keiichi-kun can turn the tables!

He's a really dependable person!"

Murmur!!

"...What?! He's the pinch hitter we brought in to take out... Left-Arm Kameda, with his bullet fastball?!

The one who had one no-hit no-run game after another during the regional qualifiers—the undefeated demon pitcher of Ooshima...

The super high school level pitcher that had already been marked by professional scouts... he's going to win against him?!"

"Some greenhorn pitcher like that is no match for Keiichi-san!!

He'll send his throws all the way to the back screen for an easy victory!!"

Murmur murmur!!

"There was a slugger like that in this prefecture?!"

"I-I had no idea!"

"He must have gone under the radar!!"

"Hey!

That scout stood up...!!"

"Hey!

Take a picture!!"

"His full name is Keiichi Maebara... Look him up in the database and send his history to our office!!!"

"Which one is Keiichi Maebara?!

Pictures, pictures!!"

A whole lot of sports journalists, led by Satoko, gripped their cameras tightly and searched for the rumored Keiichi Maebara.

As for me, I was so dazed... at what was happening... that I was frozen in place with my golf club up in the air...

"Keiichi-san, Keiichi-san, over heeeere...!!!

......Eh?"

The camera people stared at me through their viewfinders... and just like I had...... they turned to stone.

...In the hands of their gallant pinch hitter, Keiichi Maebara, was...... a golf... club...

Nobody could... seem to understand why... I was holding something like this.

...And at this point... neither did I......

Cheeeeep cheep cheep cheep cheep... A cold, greasy sweat dripped from me...

The first one to break the inordinately awkward silence... was Rena.

"......Um... Ke-Keiichi-kun."

"Y-Yeah...?"

"May we...... ask you a question...?"

...Please...

Please don't.

...Psychic waves of my entreaty flowed out of my face along with my sweat...

It somehow seemed to reach the two of them...

The deathly quiet reporters all parted... as Moses once parted the sea.

...But Moses probably didn't go through the parted seas this quietly...

"I-If you were playing baseball, then tell me that from the staaaaaaaaaaart!!!"

"Whaaaat?!

Did I not say that?!

I mean, I told you to come to the campus with a baseball bat—what else could you have thought it was?!

And... what manner of thinking caused you to mistakenly bring a golf club here instead?!"

"Umm... I think, I think!

K-Keiichi-kun must have... done it on purpose to lighten our moods and get us pumped, I think.

......I think!"

Rena smiled bitterly and covered for me with all her might.

Please believe her, everyone...

I-I'm begging you~...

"...Keiichi loves golf.

...Pet pet."

...Rika-chan started patting my head, a broad grin on her face all the while.

I pushed her hand away, grabbed her from behind by her suspenders, and picked her up like a kitten.

"...Meeep."

"Riiikaaa-chaaaaan...!!

Why didn't you tell me it was a baseball game when we met at the station!?

I wouldn't have had to suffer such a disgrace!!"

"...Nipah~☆."

Rika-chan's smile was like the sun—so incredibly innocent.

Urgh... S-She's glowing...

When I saw Rika-chan's radiant smile, I couldn't help but feel like I could forgive anything she did...

However!

If Rika-chan thought I actually would, then she had another thing coming!!

"Anyway, this is your punishment.

...Rena."

"...Meep?"

Rika-chan still plucked up in my hand, I offered her to Rena.

...That's right.

The kitten-ified Rika-chan sent Rena's voltage into overcharge!!

"H-Hau~~~~!!!

I'll take her, I'll take her!!

Rena will take her~!!

Hau~!!

So kyute~~!!!"

Hop!

Spinny spinny!!

Rena stuck out her tongue like a chameleon and preyed upon Rika-chan while spinning her around!

"Rika-chan's so kyute!

Rika-chan's so kyute!!

Hau~~!!"

"Meep! Meep~~~!!"

...Rena held her tight as a vise and began to get her fill of rubbing her cheek into Rika-chan's.

Their cheeks rubbed together tightly.

Rika-chan's face...

It looked like it was being crushed by Rena's...

"...I do not know what has happened... but it looks like Rika has gotten her just desserts."

"Yeah.

I recently found out that Rika-chan isn't only cute..."

"Hau~~!!

I got Keiichi-kun's permission~!!

I'm gonna take you home~~~~!!!"

"...Meeeep!!

Meeep!!

Meep~~~!!"

For the moment, I just gave her a three-minute timeout.

"...By the way, Satoko.

That urgent call was for a baseball game?"

"Yes, that's correct.

...You said you had a house party with your family?

I suppose I was wrong to ask, but...

At times of trouble like these, you obviously must prioritize friends over family!"

...I felt like that's what I was supposed to be saying, not you.

Well, it was just a business party for my dad, I guess.

I honestly felt glad to be called out here.

"So what's the crisis situation like?

...6 to 7.

Which means our team is losing, huh?

...Hm?

Two outs in the bottom of the ninth?!

What the heck?

This game is almost about to end...!"

"We would have had a little more time if you'd gotten here sooner!

Do you have any idea how difficult it was for us to hold out for this long?!"

"...All right, all right, I'm sorry!

Okay, so?

What am I doing?

Am I gonna be the pinch hitter?

Just leave it to me!

I may not look like it, but I went to the batting cages a lot before I moved here.

My dad went there for fun, and I used to go with him pretty often.

I'm pretty confident about just hitting the bat with the ball, but..."

Vrrrooooooooooooooomm!!

...A tremendous sound rang out, the likes of which I'd never heard before.

...The catcher's mitt trembled, sending up a light cloud of dust... telling me the tremendous sound had come from the ball.

"...Hey, now, wait a second...

What's up with that crazy fastball, anyway?"

"...Surprised?

Yeah.

That's a bona fide Koshien-level pitcher.

Don't you know about Left-Arm Kameda-kun, the high-school ace famous in sports magazines?"

"Sorry, can't say I do.

...Wait, Mion?!

W-What happened to you?!"

Mion showed up... and to my surprise, she was wrapped up in bandages!

J-Just what on earth happened?!

"Well... You came late, so I guess we need to explain from the beginning."

"Oh, hm? Done with Rika-chan?"

"Yep.

I had a lot of fun and she's so kyute.

She's so soft and fluffy and squishy~☆.

Hau~~ I could eat just her cheeks three meals a day~."

"...Meep. I can't get married anymore..."

...Ah, I wonder how Rika-chan's cheeks taste if you could eat them three times a day☆.

...It almost flipped my own delusion switch, but I put a stop to it using logic.

...I was an adult.

"Okay, explain away.

...How did things get screwed up enough that a Koshien relief pitcher ended up in a baseball game for fun...?"

Everyone exchanged glances.

Then, Rena spoke for all of them.

"Mm-hmm.

At first, well...

It was just a normal baseball game."

"It's nothing much—just a little grudge match between the Hinamizawa Fighters and the Okinomiya Titans.

We were just having a grand old time—really, nothing much."

"Well, in simpler terms, it was an intramural match.

A match to settle the grudge between Hinamizawa and Okinomiya!"

"We say 'grudge,' but it's all pretty peaceful and friendly."

"...So, why is our whole club a part of it?

Some of you are wearing uniforms, and some aren't.

...Last I checked, we weren't the school baseball team."

"Ahahahahaha.

That is... well, it was pretty irresponsible."

"They happened to have some players who couldn't make it today.

They were pretty down in the dumps, so we ended up getting involved posthaste."

I see.

So if there weren't enough members, anyone could come to the rescue, whether boy or girl and no matter what grade they were in.

That jumbled-together feeling was the hallmark of our school.

"But Rika-chan told me we were crushing them at the beginning."

"...Mii is an amazing batter.

She was hitting home runs left and right."

Mion proudly stuck out her chest.

Doing so seemed to hurt her somehow, and she groaned pathetically...

"Yes!

Every time Mion-san went up to bat, she hit a home run and brought everyone on the bases in!"

"...Unlike Satoko, she can actually hit the ball."

"Rikaa!"

"...Meep~~!!"

"...All right, I think I got the gist of it.

So you were having a pretty easy time until that Koshien pitcher showed up."

"That's right.

It was all us at the beginning.

Maybe we didn't get all that many points, but we were always getting people on the bases..."

"And Kameda-kun just happened to show up to watch the game today."

Apparently Kameda attends a fairly well-known school in our prefecture that frequently sent people to Koshien.

And this man known as the ace of their baseball team, Kameda... seemed to be quite skilled.

...Now that I thought about it, it was certainly strange to see cameramen with journalist armbands here to watch a casual baseball game out in the sticks like this.

"...I heard that when Kameda was little, he was on the Okinomiya Titans."

"...You've figured it out, right?

His old team was losing, so that's why he jumped in as relief pitcher and took the mound...

Now it's just terrible.

We can't even hit any foul balls, much less get anyone on base."

"But still!!

A Koshien pitcher barging in... It's unfair! We're just playing for fun!!!"

All the boys wearing the Hinamizawa Fighters uniform... were hanging their heads in disappointment...

I knew almost all of their faces.

Isn't everyone here a classmate?

...Oh, I see.

We're the only school in Hinamizawa, after all.

"Oh, it's Tomita-kun and Okamura-kun.

You were on the baseball team too?"

"...M-Maebara-san...... mgh..."

His uniform was brand new, and not very dirty—fresh off the presses.

...I could see hand-made banners with their names written on them in the grandstands.

...I see—their families came to root for them in their debut game today.

"...Okamura said he just got his bat today as a present from his dad."

The brand new bat sparkled.

...With that kind of present, a man just has to perform well.

"He practiced swinging a whole lot, just for today.

Tomita-san, well, he went too far... and he tore the skin off his hand, see...

unfortunately..."

His torn hand looked like it hurt, but from that injury, you could sense his backbone.

I get it, guys.

You wanted to make your big moment a good one...!!

Vrrooooooommmmmm!!

The savior of the Okinomiya Titans—we could hear the sounds of this Kameda-kun's tremendous fastball practice.

This was... no joke.

He was definitely on a level far above high school kids.

...But at his level... he clearly shouldn't have been interrupting a grass-lot game, grudge match though it may have been.

He should have understood how much better he was, too...

"......This guy.

Was he being serious against opponents like these...?"

"...Yep.

...Rena thinks it's immature."

Rena's eyes grew harsh.

...It took a lot to get Rena mad.

As for Tomita-kun and Okamura-kun... They were sniffling, fighting back tears.

...We heard another tremendous noise from the mitt.

...I turned around... and this Left-Arm Kameda-kun guy was looking at us and grinning boldly...!

"Anyway... that's how it is.

...Now that it's come to this, we have no choice.

We have to engage in real battle!"

"Yeah!

Looks like... we have to get serious!!"

"Yep, and then.

...We tried getting serious.

But then... Mii-chan went out with a bang..."

Mion, embarrassed, scratched her head—then a moment later doubled over in pain.

"Went out with a bang... But how on earth did she end up getting injured like this...?"

"It would take a really long time to explain...

...The one thing I can say is that she came up empty even though she pushed herself that hard."

"...Mgh...

I risked my life... and I couldn't even get one point..."

"...Our secret plan did nothing, and now we're very sad."

I couldn't even imagine what sort of secret plan it was... but it must have been crazy enough to get her that badly hurt.

"...Still, though.

We're still playing baseball thanks to you failing, right?"

"Ahahahahahaha...

Yep.

...Maybe Mii-chan's last resort wasn't very baseball-like, I think.

...I think."

"We have no other recourse now, do we?

It means that we need to settle the score front and center, in a manner befitting a baseball game!!"

"That's right!

We have to settle it like baseball!

Ah-hahahahahaha!"

...I think normal people...

Would have given up and gone for a frontal attack...

But as a member of our club, I wasn't about to accept that so easily.

"...Like baseball? I don't know.

...If we look at it like a baseball game, then...

we can't be picky, can we...?"

"Ahahahahahaha.

Hmm, it is our club's creed, after all☆."

"That's correct!

We can't be picky—that's the virtue of our club. Oh-ho-ho-ho!"

Rena and Satoko laughed to each other delightfully.

...It wasn't really a virtue we could brag about, but the best thing about our club was that we never rolled over and gave up.

"...But the cameras are all watching very closely, so it will be hard to cheat."

Rika-chan spread her arms wide, indicating the array of reporters in the bleachers.

...She was right.

With all those cameramen watching us through those cameras with giant telephoto lenses...

...foul play would be fairly tough.

"That's right.

...That's the bottleneck.

...Everyone's eyes are on us—we can't be too bold.

...Owwww..."

"...I never did think Mii-chan's ways were very ladylike, though."

Satoko and Rika-chan both nodded behind Rena.

"Then let's get down to business.

...Our team is down one run right now."

"Plus, it's the bottom of the ninth... and we already have two outs."

"...If this old man's plan had gone better... we'd have our bases loaded right about now...!"

"There is no point lamenting a failed plan!

Our club never loses heart, and always goes on to the next one!!"

Satoko said eagerly, trying to cheer up the downcast Mion, whose secret plan had failed!

It may have failed, but Satoko still seemed to have another...

"Satoko, you seem pretty cheerful.

...Which means... you've got something up your sleeve, eh...?"

"Keiichi-kun.

...Who do you think she is?

It's Satoko-chan, you know.

Satoko Houjou-chan!"

...That was right.

We called her Trapmaster Satoko, didn't we?

She would ensnare her opponent at the perfect moment: the very end.

Everyone in our club knew that we could never, ever let our guards down against Satoko!

"...I may have taught her, but she's grown a lot and doesn't seem to want to stop.

Sometimes even I'm astonished at how she overcomes such slim margins."

"...By the way, Mii bats next, then Satoko."

We were losing by one point, so if we could get the next runner on a base...

...then the runner after that could hit a big one and end the match...

And that final batter was Satoko...?!

"Uhuhuhuhu...!

See?

You feel like we can win now, right?"

"...I can't imagine what she's got set up, but it's got to be some kind of trap for sure.

...If I were the opposing pitcher, I'd definitely walk her."

There was no way Satoko was going to hit a home run, even in my dreams.

...But if she was going to stand in the batter's box normally, without any kind of plan, I can't think of anything else she could do!

"And the fact that you called me here...

I see.

I think I know where this is going..."

...It meant that I was a necessary piece of Satoko's trap!

"I'm excited!

I wonder what Satoko will do. Will do!"

"...I can't wait to see Satoko's walk-off home run either."

"Kei-chan is indispensable for this.

...Understand?!

This is our last chance at creating an upset.

We absolutely cannot fail!"

"Right!

That much I know for sure!!

Just watch!

Satoko and I will give you all front-row seats to the greatest turnaround victory of all time!!"

"Then I'll explain your instructions, Keiichi-san.

Lend me your ear for a moment."

Satoko and I huddled up in a hidden place... and held a briefing that anyone watching could tell was suspicious.

"...I wonder what Maebara-san and Houjou are talking about."

"...I pray it's not some crazy trick like the one the president used..."

Our teammates, Tomita-kun and Okamura-kun, seemed very nervous.

Rena gave them a wide smile, trying to dispel their anxiety.

"It'll be okay, everyone.

...Satoko-chan and Keiichi-kun will be able to pull this off for us!"

"But Ryuugu-san, we're up against a Koshien pitcher...!

I don't know if Satoko's traps will be much good..."

"Hu-hu-hu...

Now, everyone, be silent and watch!

...You're gonna get to see an interesting game.

Hu-hu-hu-hu!"

Mion, who knew everything about to transpire, looked like she was having a hard time stifling the laughter bubbling up within her.

...She was so terrifying as an enemy, but so reliable as an ally!

Mion waved her hands at the umpire.

"We've got a pinch hitter!

I, Mion Sonozaki, am switching out with Keiichi Maebara."

"...Are you sure he'll be all right?"

The umpire turned an uneasy gaze on the pinch hitter who had jumped in with a golf club.

"Uhuhuhuhu!

Don't underestimate Keiichi-kun, now~"

The members of our club were the only ones grinning with wholehearted confidence.

Satoko's plan... was definitely simple... but scrupulous.

It even looked like the entire situation had gone according to her calculations.

...The fact that we were losing by one point.

The fact that I had come late.

The fact that Satoko was the last batter.

...It even felt kind of like this had been set up before the game started.

There had been a long timeout since I got here...

And during that time, the opposing pitcher, Kameda-kun, took a bathroom break—even that felt calculated.

...No—this is Satoko we're talking about, so maybe...

Maybe she gave him a laxative somehow, calculated to get him to use the bathroom at this exact moment.

And while he was a long way off, shut up in the bathroom... our plan would begin.

The opposing pitcher, Kameda-kun...

There he was.

In front of the urinal... pleasantly taking care of business.

He thought it was only natural he would win at a grass-lot game like this... and relaxed enough to relieve himself without a care in the world.

...Maybe that's how he wanted to appear.

However... his relaxed state was itself our chance.

...Right now...

you've already... conceded to our club!!

I, too, casually walked into the bathroom.

...There were three urinals.

Kameda-kun was doing his business at the farthest one.

...I went to the one next to him.

...Normally, you would leave one urinal open.

Kameda-kun seemed to notice me—I had stood right next to him, after all.

"...What—look who it is, the big pinch hitter!

Hu-hu-hu...!"

He recalled seeing me swing the golf club around like an idiot, and he couldn't seem to resist the urge to laugh.

...I, however, wasn't frustrated in the slightest.

The match had already been won the moment I arrived.

...The game had been decided as a big upset for our team...

So now, all I had to do was push things along exactly how Satoko planned.

...Hu-hu-hu!

I'm the one who should be laughing...!

"...I wonder if Keiichi-kun can do it."

"He will be fine.

When Keiichi-san is serious... he can do this much before breakfast!!"

Tomita-kun and Okamura-kun, our underclassmen, asked another question with much trepidation.

"...Um... Is Maebara-san... really going to be able to beat that pitcher...?"

"Ah-hahahahaha!

...You don't feel any confidence in Kei-chan after being in the same class with him?

...Someday, he could be strong enough to control all of humanity.

...Join Kei-chan... and you could easily rule the world!

Hu-hu-hu!!"

"T-The world?!"

Our teammates exchanged glances!

Did Maebara-senpai... really have such incredible strength...?!

J-Just what kind of strength could that be?!?!

My question caused Kameda-kun to stare in bewilderment, and for a moment, he didn't know what to say.

"......Sorry.

I don't think I heard you right.

...Could you say that again...?"

I smiled thinly, looked straight ahead, and said it once more, clearly.

"I'll say it one more time.

Let us win."

...R-Right to the point!!

No threats, or beating around the bush, or anything!

...Kameda's brain couldn't figure out the meaning of what I'd said, and I could clearly tell he was confused.

"W-What are you, some kind of moron?!

Let you win?!

Are you insane?!"

"...I've relayed our demands.

What's your reply?

Yes?

Or no?"

"It goes without saying!

Like hell I'll let you win!!

Is your brain broken?!"

Kameda didn't hide his bewilderment.

...He didn't want to be around someone who would babble on like this for another second...!

Those thoughts spilled into his expression, and he quickly moved to leave the bathroom...

"...Kameda-kun.

What does victory mean for you?"

"That's a dumb question!

Priceless, absolute... supremacy!

Nothing else can change it!"

He grinned lightly as he answered as if to make fun of me.

"...Hu-hu-hu.

How like a sportsman to say that.

Victory decides all.

No one can change that.

...Hu-hu-hu!"

"Of course not!

No matter what kind of threats or bribes you come to me with, there is nothing valuable enough to make me abandon victory!"

I was waiting for those words.

I... after spinning around three and a half times...

pointed right at Kameda's face!!

"Then don't you think you should ask?!

Something worth abandoning your precious 'victory' for...

What kind of compensation you could be given!!"

"W-What are you saying, stupid?!

There's nothing... nothing that could make me do that!!"

...Hu-hu-hu!

He was denying it, but he stopped.

...He stopped!

He... was waiting.

He was waiting... for me to present some attractive conditions!!!

"...In a magazine interview, you said your favorite foods are grilled meat, and that you don't like sweets...

...but you lied about that, didn't you?"

"Wha...... what...?!"

"For example... let's say you went to a grilled meat buffet.

What, exactly, would be on your plate?

...Pork loin?

Korean barbecue?

A pile of beef tongue?

...Ku-ku-ku.

That wouldn't be it.

You wouldn't bring meat with you.

...It would be all the pudding and gelatin and cake you could eat!!

The kinds a girl would love... pretty, cute, and sweet...

You love Western treats like that, don't you?!?!"

Kameda's face turned utterly pale.

...Our club already knew that he ate a mountain of desserts when he went to the grilled meat buffet.

And we were well aware of his embarrassment at his weakness for sweets despite his age!

...Kameda-kun couldn't possibly have known that the particular grilled meat buffet chain in Shishibone was owned by a member of the Sonozaki family.

(I'll have to be careful when I go out to eat with my parents from now on...)

"N-No!!

I love the hearty, bone-in—"

"No!!!

What you like is gentle, soft cute piles of desserts topped with colorful creams!!

It almost... makes you think of a girl... adorned in frills and ribbons, pure, ignorant of shame... Cute desserts, like those girls, so clear and clean...

And with your acne-laden face, your sports cut, and your lust in full display, you sully them!!

Crunch, crunch, munch, munch!!"

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!"

"That's right!!

You eat desserts—but you don't love them!!

You just dirty them,

violate them,

and chew them!!

All you do... is relish in the enjoyment of soiling them!!!"

"Gyaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

Please, no more!!

My secret!!

My secret pleasure has been found out!

I can't go on living!!

I have to... I have to die!!!"

"You idiot!!! Don't end your life so easily!!!"

Ker-slam!!!

I hit him on the side of his head as hard as I could!!

Kameda-kun fell down like a girl... His eyes started watering, and he broke down.

"...Uuu.

I'm probably the only one in the world who thinks those things while eating desserts...

I'm nothing but a... a pervert, pretending to be a proper sportsman..."

"That's right.

You're a pervert!!!"

"Giiyaahhhhhhhhh...!!!!"

Bshweeeeee!!

This time I didn't hit him.

...Instead, I clapped my hands down onto his shoulders!!!

"Do not cry, Kameda!!

What's wrong with a man being a pervert?!?!"

Dun-Dunnnnnn!!!

"...Eh............ huh...?"

"A man ought to be a pervert!!

But admitting it sets a man apart from those below him!!

You've been honest to yourself!!

You can brag about that!

You can be arrogant about it!!

You can be proud of yourself!!"

Instead of blaming him, I told him to have pride in himself... and Kameda-kun couldn't hide his confusion.

"Yes!!

I have been deeply moved by what you've shown me!!

Desserts are nothing but sweet foods eaten after meals...

That's what I'd thought this whole time!!

But I was mistaken!!

And you showed me that!!

Thanks to you, I... I can...!!

Starting tomorrow, I will be able to enjoy my desserts in a completely different way.

For example...

strawberry shortcake!!"

S-Strawberry shortcake.

...Gulp.

...Kameda's throat cried out.

"The simplicity of strawberry shortcake...

Indeed!

It's somehow old-fashioned... like the orthodox maids from the gaudy times of the late 1800s!!

Not those flirty maids with short skirts we have now!

An orthodox, fully-dressed, authentic maid!!

It's just strawberries... but please, master, I could not prepare any more than this, so please give them a taste... that kind of honesty is unbelievably great...!!

Please give them a taste... mm...

I-It's such a turn-on!!!"

"...A-A turn-on......"

"Because there are only strawberries, the soft, accented cream decoration ends up... looking like frills, laces, and embroidery...

And she takes it, and splits it with her fork for her master, an elegant aristocrat...

No, no!! It would be wilder if she took it and sucked on it vulgarly, like her bad master in his greasy sweat?!

N-No, more than that... gulp!

The... the dent in the strawberry after plucking it... isn't that even better?

And you let your tongue crawl over it... ah?!

What kind of taste must that be?!

Hah, hah...☆"

"T-The dent... a-after you pick the strawberry...!!!"

"I... I can't hold it in anymore...!!

I'll go to Angel Mort on the way home and just gaze at that shortcake until I'm sated... hu-hu-hu!!

The girls, dressed up beautifully, just for me... uhee-hee-hee!!

I draw ever closer to the trembling maidens, and then, one by one... I show them... hu-hu-hu!!!

For every one I eat... I hold my jaw tight, just like this, and appraise the goods... wondering who to go for next...

Hu-hu-hu!"

(Please translate "girls" as "cake," all right☆?

Keiichi-kun seems to be talking about cake combination platters (emphasis mine))

"...As if cherishing each one...!!

I hold my jaw... tight like this... and... g-gulp!!!"

Has there ever been a man such as this who could speak so passionately about a single piece of strawberry shortcake?

No, there has not!

There has never been, I say!!

Such passionate feelings... are trying to melt away the stubbornness in Kameda's mind...!!

"Kameda.

I'll say it one more time.

Let us win."

"...Um...

B...

But... that would......"

"Then fine.

I won't rely on you!!"

I rejected Kameda outright and turned on my heel.

"Enough, we've lost this game! It's over!

I don't care about it anymore!

Instead... once this game is over...

why don't I head down to Angel Mort and get all-you-can eat of those lovely young ladies, decorated like western dolls in frills and ribbons?!

Guh-hya-hya-hya!!

Tonight... will be the greatest feast I have ever known!!!"

A-

All you can eat!!!"

Thud!!

Despite this being the bathroom, Kameda-kun put both his hands on the floor.

"Ugh, mmmgh...!

I-I was wrong!!"

"What's wrong, Kameda-kun?

If you have something to say, then say it!"

"This is... this is the first time I've met someone... someone like you...!!

Until now, I've always thought something was wrong with me... and I had to have fun secretly..."

"What are you waiting for, you tiny man?!

I already said!!

Admitting your perversion is what separates the boys from the men!!!

You are a man entitled to pride!!

Now!!

Reach out your hand!!

And show me how great you really are!!

Come with me... and accept that it is our world!!!!"

"...Uhh...... uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

Claaaaaaaap!!!!

Kameda-kun was crying tears of gratitude, unable to speak... That was the moment we exchanged the most zealous handshake the world has ever known.

The handshake of the bond of our souls...

ardent, and intense,

tight, and steadfast...

For a long time, we remained that way.

It was an enthusiastic handshake... as though we were two brothers separated at birth, embracing each other tightly as though it would give us back the time we had spent apart.

That was the moment the man who would pass into legend for eating so much during Angel Mort's all-you-can-eat dessert day that he was banned from the restaurant forevermore was born...

He would eventually write in his autobiography that our meeting this day was fate.

...But none of that had anything to do with this...

"Then, until later.

...For now, just play the game the way I described it."

With just that, I turned on my heel and made to leave the bathroom.

But then Kameda-kun stopped me.

"...Wa... Wait!

At least... t-tell me your name...!!"

"Who, me?

......My name is Keiichi Maebara...

No..."

...I kind of didn't feel like using my real name.

...Anyway... maybe I should lie to him and use a codename...

"...Just call me...

K."

"K... K.

...Kaayyyyy...!!"

...W-Wait, was that actually an embarrassing name...?

...I left the bathroom behind me at a quick pace, hiding my embarrassment.

...But from what I heard later, I apparently looked quite gallant coming out like that...

"Satoko to Keiichi-san.

How did things go?"

"Keiichi to Satoko.

Negotiations successful.

We settled on he and I getting all-you-can-eat dessert at Angel Mort.

Mion, no problem, right?"

"Two guests for Angel Mort's all-you-can-eat dessert.

Roger that.

I'll set it up!"

"...I am actually quite interested in how you negotiated with him."

"They... had a really fun talk about how delicious dessert is, probably! Probably! Hau!"

After that, the game started again.

I entered the batter's box as a pinch hitter in place of Mion.

But... all of the pieces were already in place...!

Vroooooooooooooommmm!!

The straight pitch whipped by me like a bullet, true to its name.

The camerapeople raised their voices in wonder and clicked their shutters.

"A sharp pitch, as always!"

"He's really going places this summer, isn't he?!"

"That golf club pinch hitter is standing straight up too—hee hee!"

"...But... doesn't Kameda-kun look a little strange?"

"It's like he's got a cold sweat..."

I patted my shoulders with my bat, then sneered at him in a relaxed voice.

"What's wrong, Kameda-kun?

Not feeling well today?"

"......Guh...!"

"I couldn't swing at the ball because I was too busy laughing at it! Was that all you got?"

"...Grr... you little...!!"

Vrrrrooooooooooommmm!!!

The next pitch... with the same incredible speed as before, it curved sharply, and should have thrown off the batter's skill.

...But Keiichi didn't move at all.

He just watched coolly.

"You don't need any little tricks on a straight pitch, Kameda-kun.

Do people fall for those curves a lot?

Batters around here, that is?

...Hu-hu-hu!"

"......Mgh...!"

Both the reporters and all the people watching... noticed something was strange here.

...Was Ooshima's Kameda, the pitcher who conquered Koshien... losing the mental battle?!

The next straight pitch had incredible speed again, but it went a little wild—it was a ball!

I snorted, not even bothering to get ready for it.

"...What, Kameda-kun?

Scared of going right down the middle?

Everyone calls you the best... You'd never walk the batter!"

"......Sh-Shit..."

Murmur murmur murmur...

The abnormal, unexpected situation spread confusion throughout the reporters.

"...Wha...

What is he...

Who is this Keiichi Maebara...?

How can he be so relaxed when faced with that supreme fastball?!"

"H-Hmph—he's just bluffing. He knows he can't win.

Kameda would never throw a ball that an insincere guy like that could hit..."

"...No, I don't think it's a bluff.

...They say that at a high level, you can see right through others.

...Kameda is, without a doubt, one of the best.

Which must mean...

he can see through to that mysterious man's true value..."

A really businessperson-looking guy took off his sunglasses and gazed upon Keiichi...

"...Huh...

Uh...

I-Is this...

Could it be...?"

The idiot pinch hitter who came in cheering them on with a golf club... was actually a genius?!

"...I'm sure baseball has long since lost its charm for him, and now he's trying to switch over to golf..."

"A genius slugger, making a transfer into the golf world..."

W-What a tremendous loss for baseball!

Stop the presses!

We're changing up our sports columns!!

Vrrroooooooooooooommmm!!

"B-Ball!!

...Now it's a full count...!

Murmur murmur murmur...!!"

This excessive production was, of course, all being dramatized by Satoko.

The big shots constantly had their eyes on Kameda-kun.

If he were to lose easily, they knew the match would have to have been fixed.

...Perhaps she wanted this little play of ours to create a mood where it wouldn't be strange for Kameda-kun to lose, but...

"...Satoko.

Isn't... isn't this going too far?"

"Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Do your best, now, Keiichi-san!

Today, this game—tomorrow, all of baseball!!"

I-I don't want any scouts actually coming after me!!

I'm terrified of what would happen when the jig is up...

Wait, I can't be making nervous faces right now!

"Ball!!

Base on balls!"

"...Have you gotten scared, Kameda-kun?!

I thought you were better than this!!!"

Kameda-kun hung his head in (feigned) dejection.

(K-san... I did all this according to plan, right...?!)

(Yeah.

Well done, Kameda-kun!

Keep going like this for the next batter...!!

Let's wrap this thing up, and then... ku-ku-ku-ku☆!!)

(Hah, hah☆. We'll go get all-we-can-eat~!!)

Grin!!

Kameda-kun and I exchanged evil smiles!

For some reason, there were a lot of camera flashes right then.

...It seemed like our dear journalist friends took it as two worthy rivals smiling to acknowledge each other's strength.

As I trotted over to first base, the camera flashes continued almost to the point where they were annoying...

When I got to first base, one of the reporters came over for an interview.

"M-Maebara-kun.

...Do you plan on settling the score with Kameda-kun in Koshien...?!"

Ugh... Things seemed like they were about to get too big for me.

Maybe I should just be honest and confess that I'm not really into baseball...

"...Koshien?

I've never been interested in Japanese baseball.

Sorry."

W-Whoaaaahhhh!!

This man... Right from the start, he was always aiming for the world!!

He might become Japan's first ever big-leaguer!!

What...?

U-Umm...

The conversation was getting fantastically out of hand...

Oh, I don't care anymore...!!

I'll strike a guts pose for the cameras in desperation...

"Yes!

Kei-chan got on base, just as planned!!"

"Next... Satoko-chan is at bat!!

What will she do?

What will she do?!"

"All right then!!

Time to get that walk-off home run and win it all~!!"

Satoko stepped up to the plate, waving the bat around.

...The reporters couldn't hold back their laughter—maybe because they had just seen his battle with me.

"Maebara-kun finally got on base, but now it's all over..."

"I see—so this is why Kameda-kun intentionally walked him.

He didn't even fight it—he waited for an easier opponent for the final out!"

"...But to avoid a direct confrontation like that... We cannot make light of him!

That Keiichi Maebara!!"

"All right!

Come on now, Kameda-san!!"

"Hu... Pfahahahaha!

You makin' fun of me?

Who do you think I am, anyway?!

K-sa—no!

Maebara-san was one thing... but you think I'll lose to the likes of you?!"

"Whenever this girl stepped up to bat, she had swung wildly and missed, striking out every time."

"...This might sound rude, but however much Kameda-kun holds back... I don't think she'll be able to hit a home run."

I could hear the reporters declaring that there was no way a comeback would happen.

Wait, what?

...Satoko... she swung wildly and missed every single time she stepped up to bat...?!

Vrrrooooooooooommm!!!

She swung after the sound had ended, completely mistiming it.

I could hear disappointed voices coming from those rooting for Hinamizawa.

...It's only natural.

Every single batter has struck out.

Even if worse came to worst... no one would get a hit.

And that's why it didn't sound strange when Kameda-kun said this.

"...I can't take it seriously with someone like you.

I'll give you a chance.

I'll throw the next one slow and underhanded.

I'll let you get a hit or two so you can go home and brag to mommy...!!"

Of course, these lines were all part of the plot too.

...From out of the corner of his eye, Kameda-kun gives me a look...

Was that all right?

(Yeah.

You did great. It looked very natural!

Kameda, you are a splendid actor...!)

(No, no, compared to K-san, I'm nothing... gu-hu-hu-hu!)

Even that exchange was seen as heated and enthusiastic by the reporters.

(But K-san...

However slowly I pitch... can this girl really hit it?)

(...Don't worry, and throw the ball like we planned.

I think I've got a good idea of how this'll turn out.)

Our exchange over, Kameda-kun moved from set position into a pitching stance.

"Come, then!!

Throw your merciful pitch!!

I'll hit a huge home run off of it!!"

...She had struck out every time she was at bat.

When I heard that, my vague ideas became firm beliefs.

And out of Kameda-kun's hand... comes a slow, lazy pitch, as though they were playing catch.

...Normal people would probably be able to hit it... but for Satoko, who had been striking out the whole time...

Just when people started to think that way...

the members of our club had already realized that Satoko's trap had begun!

It was true.

Striking out constantly today had all been laying the groundwork for this moment.

...An act...

all to make it feel like Kameda-kun letting off the gas wasn't strange at all.

Which meant, in other words... that Satoko......

Crrrrraaaaaack!!!

W-Whoaaaaaaaaaaa!!

She gooooot it!!

Look at it go...!!

"I don't even need to run, do I?

...Ohh-ho-ho-ho-ho!!"

The super-huge home run Satoko hit... disappeared over the roof of the school...

The reporters lost their words at the sight.

And then...

Roars of applause!!

Despite... this being what we'd anticipated...

I can't help but stare in mute amazement at the gorgeous home run.

Satoko strutted over to first base.

"Come on, what are you doing, Keiichi-san?

Second base is that way."

"Satoko, you... you're really good at baseball."

Satoko grinned, showing her fang-like canines, in reply.

...Come to think of it, she played baseball a lot with Tomita-kun and the others during lunch, didn't she?

...The fact that they always invited her to play... meant she was by no means bad at it.

"...And... you purposely struck out all those times...?

Since before Kameda-kun even got here?

...Geez, you've really got something for every occasion...!"

"I say this all the time, do I not?

I only have one trap.

And when everything is about to come to a conclusion, it's enough that I don't even have to worry. Ho-ho-ho!"

D-Damn it... That sounded kind of cool!!

Basically, she was just bragging about hitting the ball...

but when Satoko did it, it looked so cool!

We crossed home plate in order—me, then Satoko—and completed our walk-off home run!!

Our teammates welcomed us back with their blessings.

"M-Maebara-san!

That was amazing—totally cool!!

I never thought it would happen!!!"

Tomita-kun and Okamura-kun praised me.

"How about that, Tomita-kun? Okamura-kun?!

I turned things around just fine!!"

"Rena thinks you were cool too! Good work~!"

"Hah! It was nothin'!!"

I briskly clapped my hand against Rena's outstretched palm.

"Satoko did brilliantly too!!

She gave us a spectacular ending~!!!"

"Who do you think I am?

Ohh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!!"

Man... can't underestimate her!

Satoko Houjou!!

"Kei-chan was great too!

...Winning Kameda over like that...!"

"...He is a Magician of Words."

"Ahahaha, Rika-chan, I don't think that's a compliment."

"But really.

Only Keiichi-san could have pulled off such a drastic move!

I wouldn't have been able to do it myself.

I would very much like you to teach me sometime."

"...If Satoko learned such displays of power... That's terrifying to even imagine.

I'd prefer it if you didn't mimic me..."

After declaring the match over, the umpire came to us.

"...Well... I never... You actually won...

I-I'm shocked."

"We said Satoko could hit it, didn't we?

You didn't believe us at all!"

The umpire scratched his head apologetically and apologized to Satoko, smiling dryly.

"And Keiichi-kun was amazing too, wasn't he?

Keiichi-kun is actually the most reliable person here."

"Well, when I saw him come in with that golf club... I certainly had my doubts, but...

That breathtaking battle against Kameda-kun had me on the edge of my seat..."

...Right, that breathtaking farce.

I quirked a wry smile.

...Not even the Buddha would have realized that while everyone thought this was a fair match, Kameda-kun and I were thinking about our evil dessert-violating ways...

"Excuse me, Coach?

You remember your promise, do you not?"

"Uh, yeah, this is... guess I have no choice.

Tahahaha..."

"Ahahahahaha!

We did it, we did it!

Keiichi-kun, this means we're having a barbecue meetup tomorrow!"

Rena clapped her hands, and we all began to dance with joy.

Tomita-kun and our other teammates were jumping up and down too.

"W-What's that about?

A barbecue meetup?

Hey, wait, what on earth are you talking about??"

"Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

We made a promise that if we won today's game, he'd treat us to a barbecue party with all kinds of high-class meats!

It wasn't looking good for a while when Kameda-kun appeared, but thanks to Keiichi-san we've won that privilege!!"

I see—so that's what this was about.

It was certainly not a game we could have lost!

"...Irie's big wallet will be so sad, so sad."

"You're right about that... But I did make a promise..."

"When we eat... we do it without any mercy!!

We need to feed our growing bodies, after all!

Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-ha!

All right, everyone!!

Tomorrow, we dine like kings~!!"

""""Yeaahhhhhhh!!""""

All of the members of the Hinamizawa Fighters raised their fists high in the air and cheered.

Rika-chan was petting the head of the umpire, who was smiling painfully at the off-kilter remarks.

He gave her his head, and looked like he was about to cry.

...It looked like the price of victory would be pretty big.

"...You beat me.

But I have no choice, since I promised.

Guess I should go shopping for some meat..."

"Coach~ Get some grade A beef like you promised~!

We won't forgive you if you buy nothing but vegetables to keep it cheap~!!"

"Boo-hoo..."

The umpire, whom they were calling "Coach," grinned dryly, crestfallen.

...Umpire?

Coach?

The uniform he was wearing had "Hinamizawa Fighters" written on it.

...Oh, so he's not just the umpire... he was actually our team's coach!

"Maebara-kun—is that all right?

Can I call you that?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah."

"This comeback wouldn't have happened were it not for you getting on base.

Please, come to tomorrow's barbecue.

...No, besides that!

Would you please consider joining the team?!

If you were with us... we could dominate the whole prefecture...!!!"

"Ahahahaha...

Coach, Coach! Let's leave that aside for now..."

"You should be more worried about your wallet~!

Ohh-oh-oh-oh-ho!!"

Despite the coach being an adult, everyone seemed to get along very well with him.

...Coach, huh?

"Pleased to make your acquaintance.

I'm Irie, coach of the Hinamizawa Fighters."

He extended his hand to me.

...I firmly grasped it with my own in reply.

"I'm Maebara.

Nice to meet you."

Then, the coach took his other hand and began to stroke mine softly...!

"Mmmm, what smooth hands you have...

Such a narrow grain, and you truly take good care of them...

Hah~ Silky smooth..."

"Uh... huh?!?!

H-Hey, wait!"

"I must strictly instruct our maids to take this good care of their skin as well...

and punish the bad ones who don't~☆."

"M-Maids?!

W-W-What are you talking about?!?!"

"Haa~~...

Such velvety hands...

I just want to put them to work~...

Hahh~~~☆..."

The coach's eyes were spellbound... and as his delusions floated through his very own original magical universe, he made a supremely satisfied smile.

...How do I put this... Who the hell is this guy?!

"Ah-hahahahahaha!!

You look so flustered."

"Our coach is a little strange.

But he's really funny, you know? You know?"

I felt like you couldn't measure him by saying "strange" or "funny"...

I really didn't think we'd get along.

...Snap!

The other self in my mind made a witty retort for some reason.

"Come on!

Settle down already!!

You're making Keiichi-san uncomfortable!!"

"...Ha~...

Silky smooth~...♪"

The coach didn't try to take his hands off mine until Satoko hit him with a three-fold washbucket attack, causing him to faint...