The function of this school as an educational facility is very questionable.
Our PE class is exceptionally disorganized.
The only things we do together are the warm-ups at the start.
The teacher isn't even there after that.
All we do is play together.
"No helping it. Everybody's a different age or gender."
"The only rule was that we have to stay on school grounds while exercising."
All the little kids were gallivanting about.
Well... they certainly are being active. They might be getting plenty of exercise, but...
"...The board of education probably completely forgot about this school."
"...Sorry to keep you waiting."
"We're all together now. What shall we do today for PE!?"
"All right.
We have all of our members gathered now."
"Now then, Class Representative, what shall we do for PE today?
What shall we do?"
...Mion harrumphed and crossed her arms haughtily, surveying the area.
"Explosive power and endurance.
There are no friends in the world of sports.
Everyone is a rival! The only thing you can trust in is your own body!"
"What the heck do you mean by that? You really read too much manga."
I quipped without missing a beat.
"And so, we'll be taking a lesson from history!!
The tried and true king of all outdoor melee events...
Let's play tag!"
It was quite the adorable choice to make after playing it up so much.
"Just what I was hoping for~!!
That dunderhead Keiichi-san shall be the first one to be it!"
"...I won't be beaten."
"I'll try my best too! You can't beat me~!"
"...Why are you guys all so into it...?"
"The third rule of our society!! You must partake in the game, enjoying it without question!!!"
"Then... this counts as a club activity!?"
Everyone smirked at each other.
They all seemed pretty confident.
I'm a man.
Physically, I should be able to keep up with any girls my own age.
Regardless, Mion and Satoko looked like they were aiming for victory and Rena was looking at me as if pitying my disadvantage.
"...Fine. Tag,
I'm iiiiiiiiin!!!"
My yell echoed across the school grounds.
These were the rules:
Anyone who was able to evade being tagged before the bell was a winner.
But we didn't switch who was 'it.'
The ones who were tagged by 'it' also became 'it.'
So the number of people who were 'it' could increase exponentially.
The endgame would become a hellish siege.
"We call this version 'zombie tag,' you see."
"I see. Anyone infected by a zombie turns into a zombie."
"...Why do you make it sound so scary, I wonder?
...I wonder?"
"As soon as I catch Rena, I'm going to tear out her entrails while she's still alive...!!"
"...G-G-Gr-Gross, Keiichi-kun, that's gross...!"
Rika-chan placed her hand on Rena's head as she panicked.
"...Don't worry. ...Before Keiichi gobbles you down, I'll eat you up gently."
"Rika, that isn't comforting at all."
Both Mion and I nodded deeply.
"So, the first 'it'... how do you decide who's the zombie?
...With rock-paper-scissors?"
"Well, it is class time after all. Let's decide by answering questions.
I'll ask the questions, and the one who isn't able to answer is the zombie!"
I have no idea which grade level they're coming from.
"What does the Japanese word 「roku」 mean?"
Huh?
...I was bewildered by the sudden question.
Mion repeated it.
"So you need to answer!
What's 「roku」 in English!?"
"Uhm, it's six!!"
"How about 「kutsushita」!?"
"Socks!"
"What's the third-last letter in the alphabet!?"
"...It's X."
"What does 「seibetsu」 mean!?"
"Of course I know what that is~!!
It's...!!
...
..."
Satoko cut herself off before finishing the answer.
...I see. It's quite a lewd question.
"You're an adult, aren't you~?
Of course you know what it is, right??"
"...I-I certainly do...!
Of course I know...!!"
"Then go ahead and say it.
'That,' you know? 'That.'
What does 'that' mean, exactly?"
"...Hau... Satoko looks like she's in trouble...
How kyute..."
"Don't take her home. It's a crime."
If I didn't nip it in the bud, she really might have tried to take her home...
Mion's pursuit was relentless, making Satoko stammer.
"Now then, go ahead and say it, nice and loudly!!
What does 'that' mean!?!?"
"I do know...!!
I do know!!
I do know!!!...
...
I- it's..."
"'That' means a previously indicated person, thing or event."
"Huh?
...Ah."
All of us were a bit surprised by Rika-chan's unexpected answer.
I see. Well it certainly is what 'that' means.
...That could have been awkward.
...I wonder what I would have done in Satoko's position.
...I'd probably get ticked off and just blurt out you-know-what at the top of my lungs...
I wouldn't want you as an enemy, Mion Sonozaki!
Thank goodness you were born a girl.
If you were a boy, you'd probably be a perverted asshole...
"It... It appears I have no choice.
...Unfortunately, I, Satoko Houjou, shall assume the role of the zombie.
...
I shall eat everyone~!!"
Seems like she's raring to go.
"All I must do is count to 100, correct!?"
"Some jerks skip numbers while counting to 100.
So you can start chasing after you solve this problem."
"Whoa, Keiichi-kun... give her a simple one, okay...?"
"1/5th of a cake, 1/6th of a cake, and 1/7th of a cake are all on a plate."
"Oh no!!
Th-There are no common denominators?!?!"
Satoko grabbed a stick in a panic and began drawing a cake and fractions on the ground.
"If Satoko, who can eat one cake in 60 seconds, eats all of them... how many cakes are left on the plate?"
Just as I finished giving the word problem, Mion shouted.
"Ready... go!!!!"
On Mion's signal, everyone but Satoko scattered.
"Heheh... Keiichi-kun,
that wasn't a problem at all, was it?"
Satoko had already lost the moment she started working it out.
She's eating it all, so of course there's nothing left on the plate!
Everyone dashed off in a direction they thought was best.
Knowing the lay of the land, they probably headed right to the best spots.
It was obvious I was at a disadvantage.
At a time like this, it would have been more effective to go along with those trained in survival skills...
Like Mion, for example.
...The fact that I didn't realize it at the start of the game probably hurt my chances.
Glancing back over the school grounds, I saw Satoko just rising up to start.
She was really, really mad.
Mwahaha!
...She got tripped up on such a dumb question.
I stood at one of the corners of the school.
I had clear sightlines in two directions and would probably have a good response time if any zombies started closing in.
For the time being, I caught my breath and focused on what I was trained to think during club activities yesterday.
...Now think calmly, Keiichi Maebara...
If I was 'it,' what would I do?
Increasing my numbers would be the shortcut to victory.
...Then going after the weakest player first is the obvious plan of attack.
Meaning... me!
"Now then, where could Keiichi-san possibly be!?
I shan't let you escape!!!"
...But of course.
What would be the best method to track me down?
Footprints or smell... or maybe some type of trail.
If I could craftily hide my tracks... then there would be no trail for Satoko to follow!
But I was no detective... Would I even be able to do that kind of thing in an amateur game like this?
"Tomita~ Okamura~!
Have you seen Keiichi-san recently!?"
Wh-What the heeeeeck!?!?
Do zombies hunt their prey by asking nicely where they went!?!?
Tomita-kun and Okamura-kun pointed to the location where I was hiding.
After confirming she was headed in this direction, I abandoned my position.
It wasn't easy to hide myself with all those little kids running around as they pleased.
It was becoming even more obvious that I was at a disadvantage from not being familiar with these surroundings...!
If that's how it was going to be... Then to confront this intelligence-gathering zombie, I'd just counter it in a similar vein...!!
I approached some girls playing with a ball.
"...I'm sorry, but could you relay this message?
Tell Satoko Houjou that her parents are at the gate,
please."
"Message, message, ahahaha~~!!
Okay okay!"
I stopped the girls as they turned to run off.
"Wait, don't go yet!
Also, take this one to Mion Sonozaki.
Tell her the teacher is calling her to the gate."
Mwahaha, I am quite the schemer, if I do say so myself...!
If things went well, then Satoko and Mion would run into each other at the gate!!
It would put me at a disadvantage if more people were 'it,' but this was Mion we were talking about.
She'd figure out a way to escape.
...But that was just fine.
As long as it bought me more time...!!
Mwahaha, dance for me, Mion and Satoko!!
In the palm of my haaaaaand!!!
Having my fill of playing the conman, I looked for a place to hide.
If you think about it logically, I'd only bought myself a scant amount of time.
...And it might even come back to bite me...!
Once it became apparent I'd started spreading false information through messengers, I could end up being the recipient of one of those 'messages.'
Satoko would probably ask the messengers to help her look for me.
That would mean... there would be more zombies than participants in the game!!
The virus that was brought about by my mischief could cause an epidemic...
All my classmates would transform into zombies... and would only be searching for me!
...This tactic...
This tactic might backfire horribly.
While trembling at the thought of the impending Dawn of the Dead, I began searching for a safehouse.
I found a shed by the incinerator behind the school.
After climbing up to the roof, I held my breath.
It wasn't a bad place to hold out.
Not only did I have good line of sight but, if necessary, I could jump off in three different directions to escape!
It was getting rowdy down there.
The lower grades were running around below the shed.
"Maebara-san isn't around.
Is he over there?"
"Nope~
Where's Keiichi-san, I wonder?
His dad is at the front gate."
That was definitely a lie.
The word, "gate," the same one I'd used, gave a hint of revenge.
So Mion was behind this...!
I was still keeping one step ahead of the game.
I felt bad for my underclassmen, but they'd have to search until the school bell.
"Hey, hey, do you know where Keiichi-san is at~?
His mom suddenly got really sick~!"
"A message for Maebara-san.
They said his house caught fire and he needs to come to the gate!"
"A jumbo jet fell on top of the Maebara residence!"
"The police have come to question him!"
...Anything goes now.
"They say he enjoys peeping into bathrooms."
HaUuUu!?
"Is it true that he's going around every night stealing panties?"
Who were they talking about!?
"I heard he wears panties on his head and smells them and stuff."
No way I would do thaaat!!
"I heard that Class Representative Mion was a victim too~!"
"Whaaat!?"
GaaaaaaaAAaaRRRrrrrggh!!!!!
This was your doing, Mionnnnnnn!!!
C-Calm down, Keiichi Maebara!!
This is Mion's battle tactic to flush me out!
Just hold on!!
If my underclassmen thought about it logically, they would know it's all nonsense!
...But small kids don't think about things logically.
To them, all of those things were true, so they all chuckled together while looking for me.
Heheheheh...
Bwahahahaha...!
I win, Mion!
It's my victory!
Bwahahahaha...!!
Wiping unrelenting tears away, I felt intoxicated by my own victory...
"Did you hear?
I heard that the new transfer student Maebara-san is a really perverted person!
Kyahahahaha!!"
The cost of beating Mion had too high a price...
Ah!
...Oh.
Someone passed below.
That's... Rena and Rika-chan.
"...Haah haah.
Rika-chan, you're still okay!?"
"...I'm getting by somehow."
"...Haah haah.
...It seems Mii-chan is 'it,' as well..."
Mion!?
It couldn't be... She'd become 'it' because of my little strategy!?
This confirmed that Mion was behind this relentless message war.
...Then... This wasn't good...
"We finally got away from Mii-chan, but Satoko-chan... She's..."
"...Satoko is searching around the pipes... so we should be safe here for a while."
Upon hearing that, I breathed a sigh of relief.
While Rena was slumped on the ground breathing heavily, Rika-chan had started creeping up to her...
Rika-chan doesn't normally make noise when she walks...
but it's strange.
...It couldn't be...
"Whoa!?
...Rika-chan?
...What is it? What is it!?
...Hauu...!?"
"...Don't worry."
I had never seen Rika-chan smile so creepily before.
"Wh-Why are you coming closer? Why!?
Rika-chan isn't... a zombie, is she!?"
"...Don't be scared...
I'll be sure to...
eat you, gently."
"N-N-N-No way!?
...Rika-chan, no... Eeeek...!!"
Rena was pressed against the wall and Rika-chan lurched forward with both arms out, just like a zombie...
Rena quaked with her back pushed up against the wall.
It was quite a surreal scene of horror...
Like one of those zombie breakout videos you'd see.
At that moment, Rena's eyes met mine.
"K-Keiichi-kun! Save meeee!!!"
Zombie Rika-chan turned 180 degrees, Exorcist-style, and glared at me!
"Found him!! I see Kei-chan!!!!"
Mion popped out from behind the cinderblock wall around the garbage dump, also seeing where I was.
My position was only advantageous when there was one zombie. Being surrounded was not as good!!!
"You said you located Keiichi-san~~!?!?"
I could tell that Satoko was rushing my way.
It seemed that Rika-chan had let Rena escape, and now she was baring her fangs in my direction.
"Uuurgh~... oooough~..."
"...Come~ on~ down~... Keiiiiiii-chaAaaAan..."
The three zombies circled the shed, moaning curses.
"Y... You guys are scary!!!
Too scary!!!"
"I wonder how Keiichi-san's guts taste!!
Keichi-saAaAn...!"
"...Keiichi... I want you to become one of us."
"S-S-S-Someone please save meeeee!!!!!"
I saw Rena apologizing to me from across the schoolyard.
An apology.
Sorry.
Leaving me for dead?
...R-Renaaaa!!!!!
I leapt off the roof out of fear,
slipping as I landed.
Satoko and Rika jumped on top of me and, after straddling me... they tickled me, all over my body.
"Gwa ha ha ha!!!
Stop! Stop!!
Gwaaaah!!!!!"
"...So this means Rena is still left.
There isn't much time until the bell."
"...Damn you, Renaaa...!!
How dare you... leave me for deaaaad!!"
The feelings of a zombie.
I understood how vengeful ghosts with lingering regrets felt.
"...It's sad, so sad.
...But Keiichi is one of us now."
It felt like I'd been bitten by a vampire and was now one of their thralls.
It was a strange feeling, being welcomed over to the side that had pursued me.
"...Zombie tag is quite profound!"
"This is no time to postulate!!
We must capture Rena-san!!!"
"The principal is walking down the hall.
...The bell will ring soon!!"
To devour Rena... I, who had been turned into a demon of vengeance, needed to use any means necessary.
Except I wasn't just a zombie.
I was a master of the night... A vampire!!
Using the same trick that had tightened the noose around my own neck, I used my classmates to further my evil designs.
I gathered up the lower grades from around the school grounds.
"Everyone, listen!
Rena's in big trouble!
All of you, please look for Rena!"
"...It's a bigger problem than a jumbo jet crashing into your family's house?"
...Oh, yeah, it had turned into that, hadn't it.
Mion whistled nonchalantly, trying to avoid the blame.
"Yeah! It's not even in the same league as jumbo jets!
What fell on Rena's house...
Was a space colony!!"
"A-A space colonyyyyy!?"
"Yeah, it's a really big disaster!
Everything in a 100 kilometer radius was obliterated!
But that's only the prelude to this tragic tale!!
This is the beginning... the start of a war for independence by the Propagandapality of Zeon!!"
The lower grades were dumbfounded, their eyes like saucers at the grand turn of events...
"Wh... What will happen...?
Will the Terran Federation lose?"
"If things go on like this, they will!!
Only one person can defeat the Red Comet!!
That person is Rena Ryuugu!!"
The lower grade students all gulped...!
It seemed I'd made them fully understand that the fight for Earth was lost without Rena.
"Now scatter, comrades!! We must find Rena!!!"
My comrades in the lower grades let out an enthusiastic cheer and dashed off in various directions around the school grounds.
...Hm?
There was still one person who hadn't gone.
"But... I thought even the Terran Federation's Impulse Wave Diffusal Cannon... didn't work on the Comet Empire..."
"You're close. That's the white variety of those comets.
The reason it didn't work was because they didn't know the weak point.
Of course, Rena knows their weak point all too well!"
"...Ryuugu-san is amazing..."
Satisfied with that, she also rushed off to look for Rena.
...It does seem... like there are some promising up-and-comers amongst the youngsters.
"...Little Kei-chan's abilities... this old man knows them better now..."
It didn't really feel like she was complimenting me, but whatever.
"...Really, though... How exceptional, Keiichi-san...!!
This looks quite promising!!"
"If we have this many... we can win!!
With this many, we will win!!"
"...I was thinking that Keiichi would have been a better nominee for the initial zombie."
Rika-chan's words stung a bit, but I'd let it slide for now...
Not even Rena would be able to escape the entire class.
As a result of everyone's thorough search, Rena was finally cornered in the back of the sports equipment shed.
"Y-You're all scary!!
Keiichi-kun, too...!!
So scary!!!"
It probably was scary being chased around by the entire student body.
All the lower grades closed in on Rena, saying she was the only one who could save the world.
"What are you all saying!?
I can't control a mech!"
"Renaaa, how could you leave me for deeaad?!!
Are you ready to pay for it...!?!?"
"I-I-I'm sorry about that, Keiichi-kun ...b-b-but I didn't have a choice...!!"
"Do not resist... Let yourself be devoured~...!!!"
"...Let's all... be together."
"Now, Rena... Say your prayers!!
Mwa ha ha!!!!!"
Rena had stumbled onto a mat, trembling, with tears in her eyes.
I closed in.
Associating this situation with a similar, particularly immoral one made my pulse quicken just a little bit.
...Satoko and Rika-chan were both wiggling their fingers.
They probably wanted to tickle Rena.
Rena, wanting no part of what she knew was about to happen, went stiff with fear.
"...K-Keiichi-kun... you wouldn't do mean things like everyone else... would you?
...Would you?"
"...I woOoOnder~!?!?"
"...Uu... ah... hau..."
"...Nowww then... Are you reaAaAady!?"
"...Okay... so long as it's Keiichi-kun..."
The face she made as she resigned herself to her fate made my heart skip a beat.
"I-I believe... that Keiichi-kun won't... do horrible things to me..."
...Argh... Body... won't move... That had to be some sort of anti-zombie mantra.
The second my sense of reason chimed in, the beast inside me died instantly.
There was the bell! Game over.
"Yaaay~~!!
I did it, I did it!!
I survived!
Yaaay~ Yaaaa~y☆!!"
Rena pranced around merrily as if a curse had been broken.
"...Heh, so daylight broke in the nick of time and the evil zombie army disintegrated into dust...
And so, the heroine survived... Well, that's how it goes in the movies, anyway..."
"What are you postulating about!?
This is all because Keiichi-san was dawdling about!"
"...Punishment is required."
I was subdued by Satoko and Rika-chan and once again sentenced to death by one hundred tickles.
"Eeeeeek! F-Forgive me! Eeeeeeek!"
"Then the award for surviving goes to Rena Ryuugu and Mion Sonozaki. Yaay!"
"Huh...? Mii-chan wasn't a zombie...?"
"Only pretended to be one. They say you need to deceive your allies before you can deceive the enemy, you know~?"
"...Uroooogh! Mion~ you little!"
"Yeah, yeah.
Hurry up and change, all right~?
Don't be late for the next class~!"
"Let go of me, Satoko! Rika-chan!!
GwaaAaaAaa...ah...!!!!"
Having had my fill of being terrified to my very core by club activities, I solemnly swore I would have Mion crying for mercy next time.
After arriving home, I quickly made preparations to head out once again.
I had agreed to meet with Rena to dig Colonel Sanders out of that mountain of treasure from before.
"Mom, do we have work gloves? I need towels, too."
"Aren't they in the shed out back?
The towels are by the sink."
All right. Now I was all ready.
...Looking at me, my mom stared quizzically.
"What's going on, Keiichi?
Where are you headed to in that getup...?"
If they come to dump again illegally, he'll be buried completely and it'll be impossible to dig him out,
and if that happens... Rena will undoubtedly go after the Colonel Sanders in front of the fried chicken place in town.
"A bit of excavating.
So my classmate doesn't become a criminal."
"...Well, don't be out too late."
Mom returned to the kitchen with a puzzled expression still on her face.
Cutting through the woods as a shortcut to the dam site, I ran into someone.
It was Tomitake-san.
Probably taking pictures of wild birds again with that precious camera of his.
...It couldn't be that all he took pictures of was handsome young men in the twilight...??
"Hey, long time no see.
Keiichi-kun, right?"
"My due regards."
I expelled the rude imagery from my head and greeted him without inciting anything.
"By the way...
Was that girl an acquaintance of yours...?"
He was probably talking about Rena.
Guessing by the way Tomitake-san was shaken up...
"Wh-What was that all about!?
She was walking around with a bared hatchet!
And she was laughing with a huge smile across her face!!"
That was Rena, without a doubt.
I expect that she was grinning in anticipation of taking Colonel Sanders home.
"I hid myself because I thought it might be dangerous
...
Should I call the cops to be safe...!?"
Well, it certainly would be quite the spectacle for a girl of her age to be roaming around with a hatchet.
Tomitake-san's reaction was the epitome of logical.
"It's fine, it's fine.
Just leave her be.
She's just wandering around looking for more victims."
Tomitake-san was alarmed by my crass response.
Well, it's probably hard for normal people to understand Rena.
I'll just toss out a bunch of baloney.
"If you were to be killed out here, she'd probably be the one to do it.
...Try not to snoop too much around here."
With a condescending smirk, I started off in the direction of the dam site where Rena was waiting.
Before I got too far, Tomitake-san abruptly called out to me.
"Keiichi-kun, is that meant to be a warning for an outsider like me?"
...Uhhh, I didn't mean that seriously. I did try to make it obvious, but...
"Hah hah hah!
I'll try my best to be careful."
Leaving only those words behind, Tomitake-san turned around and left.
I didn't really mean to call him an outsider...
I wasn't really implying anything when I said that...
It was only meant to be a joke, but it felt like I'd said something bad...
"Keiichi-kun~!
I was waiting for you. Let's try our best today!"
I understood what Tomitake-san was trying to say.
Somebody gallivanting about while waving a hatchet around certainly would seem dangerous.
"You should put a cover on that hatchet when you have it in public.
It's not good to carry it around out in the open like that!"
"Seems that I lost it... so there isn't one."
Thinking about it, there really was no need to try to keep up appearances.
Everyone in Hinamizawa probably already knew about Rena's eccentricities.
She's probably the only person who could carry a hatchet around Hinamizawa and not be considered suspicious...
"Ah well!
Let's finish this today!
If we bust through this last beam, we should be able to pull him out.
I've got everything I need.
Leave it to me!"
"Okay!"
I took the axe from Rena and made my way up the unstable slope.
"Just wait, Colonel Sanders.
Keiichi-kun will save you...☆"
"All right, get back.
...I'll finish this in one gooooo!"
A solid "thwack" rang through out Hinamizawa, as if the job was being done by a lumberjack.
"...How is it?
Think you can do it?
If it looks too hard, you don't have to strain yourself..."
"If I can break through this, then we'll be good!
I have plenty of power today!
I can do it!"
...But this adversary was more formidable than I expected.
First of all, I'd never used a hatchet before.
During a school camping trip, I had wanted to split the wood, but I lost at rock-paper-scissors and wasn't able to do it.
Because the spot where I was standing was so unstable, I soon became tired and decided to take a break.
Rena had already spread out a tarp and laid down some tea and sweets.
"I'm fine!
I'm almost there.
I'll make sure Rena can give Colonel Sanders a good-night kiss tonight."
"...Yeah.
...Thanks.
...Giving Colonel Sanders... a good night kiss... hau..."
"Come to think of it... Rena, you're a transfer student too, right?
Where did you live before?"
I asked her nonchalantly while drinking tea.
I had thought she'd lived here all her life.
"Hm?
In Kanto.
It wasn't as rural as it is out here, but it was still out in the countryside."
"Why did you move here?
To Hinamizawa, I mean.
You know, this is pretty far out in the boonies."
"Why did you move here?
Does it have to do with your dad's work?"
"Dad said he wanted to relocate his studio.
He'd been saying for a while that somewhere deep in the mountains like this would be perfect."
"Studio? ...Is your father an artist or something??"
"He paints scenery.
Seems that twice a year he opens a gallery for the stuff he does."
When he started, his works were displayed in an industry plaza in Tokyo, but now they're exhibited in the Makuhari Messe.
He's determined to have them displayed in the Waterfront International Exhibition Hall.
"That's amazing!
Let me see them next time!"
...I was too embarrassed to tell her that I didn't really know what kind of pictures my father painted...
Well, eventually I would. I picked myself up while giving some vague answers.
"But... you transferred in the middle of the semester, didn't you?
Wasn't that a hassle?"
"Not really.
...I was getting bored of the city anyway."
I was trying to get answers from Rena, but I ended up being the one giving out all the answers.
With a bit of a wry smile on my face, I grabbed the handle of the hatchet and headed back to worksite.
The air grew colder as the sun slowly set.
The higurashi began their song, as if to tell me to stop and head home for the day.
Just a bit more.
Today... I would end it!
When I first started, I chatted with Rena as I worked, but now I didn't have that luxury.
"Hooyah!
You little...!
Damn it!"
I had swung the hatchet countless times today, just like this.
Contact.
Shards of wood splintered.
"The assailants butchered the victim's body with hatchets and pickaxes."
I recalled that passage from the tabloid.
One hit with something like this would smash someone's head in...
Axes and pickaxes are not meant to be swung at people, ever.
With one last swing, the beam cracked apart.
The weight I put behind the hatchet not only split through the beam, but smashed the statue's shoulder as well.
The arm came off with a sickening sound.
It clattered down noisily, stopping at my feet.
"...Ah."
"Wh-What's the matter!? Are you hurt!?"
"S-Sorry...
The figure's arm... I broke it off..."
"...Oh, that's all? I thought Keiichi-kun hurt himself."
I probably had a really guilty look on my face.
Rena said that without a hint of dismay as she smiled.
"We just need to tape it back on and put a coat over him.
Nobody will even notice."
"...I see. Let's pull him out then.
Can you get that side?"
"Okay!"
"...They still haven't found one of the arms."
I laughed dryly at how pathetic I was for considering the arm flopping down and rolling to my feet to be such a bad omen.
Both Rena and Mion knew how sickening that incident was.
So they pretended that they didn't know.
I had looked it up all by myself.
...And shamefully enough, I was scared.
"...You're pathetic, Keiichi Maebara!
All right, Rena!
Let's do this in one go!
Ready... and...!"
"...Whoa!
We did it! We did it, Keiichi-kun!
Yaaay!"
The right time to give three cheers!
That moment of two days of work bearing fruit.
He who was brought to Hinamizawa covered in filth to meet his end. Instead, we were able to welcome him back.
You're pretty lucky, Colonel Sanders. Your new master is a pretty decent person.
"...Waa... Colonel Sanders... He really is kyute!"
It didn't matter that he was dirty. Rena nuzzled him cheerfully with her cheek.
I was dead tired, but seeing Rena's happy face made it all worth it.
"I'll help you carry it back. It'd be bad if it gets dark."
"...Yeah. Right!
I really want to thank you, Keiichi-kun! I won't forget this!"
"I'll think real hard about how you can repay me!"
"Wh... Whoa... I wonder what kind of 'repayment'?
...I wonder?"
For now, I'd just hold back my evil cackle.
We were ready to take it to her house, but we couldn't go like this.
We rolled the statue up in the tarp and lifted him.
And so Jack and Jill went down the hill, carrying a human-sized bag and an unsheathed hatchet!
I prayed that we wouldn't run into Tomitake-san.
If he saw us here and took a picture... we'll need to get rid of him. (lol)
"...Is that meant to be a warning for an outsider like me?"
Something struck me as odd about the words Tomitake-san, unable to grasp my sense of humor, had left behind.